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Free Download , by Tracy Schorn

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, by Tracy Schorn

Free Download , by Tracy Schorn

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Product details

File Size: 11980 KB

Print Length: 240 pages

Publisher: Running Press Adult (May 10, 2016)

Publication Date: May 10, 2016

Sold by: Hachette Book Group

Language: English

ASIN: B017QL8X7M

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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#74,295 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

This is a must read book for anyone who has discovered a partner has been unfaithful or for anyone who wants to support an infidelity survivor! In this book and on her blog, Tracy gives language to the infidelity experience--i.e. the "chump" experience--to help those of us who have undergone this sucker-punch from Hell.The vulgarities used at times might not be everyone's preference; however, there's no denying this is one "street smart" guide for those needing a good friend to guide them through the infidelity mess.

Finally, straight talk about infidelity that doesn't do any of the following:*place blame on the victim of the betrayal ("Affair proof your marriage!" "How did you drive your partner to cheat?")*excuse, legitimize or minimize infidelity ("Monogamy is unrealistic." "Anyone could cheat." "Maybe it's a sex addiction.")*cast infidelity as modern, sophisticated, and completely natural ("The affair was an act of exuberant defiance! A quest for aliveness!")What this book does do is portray infidelity exactly as it is and offer THE BEST advice to those who have been betrayed. Chump Lady calls it like it is with a great sense of humor about a painful topic. Infidelity has become increasingly seen as something that "just happens", something that is caused by situations and external factors, rather than by a cheater's defective character. As Chump Lady points out, there are two very respectable things for people to do when they are unhappy in a committed, monogamous relationship--work on things or break up. But cheating on your partner, risking their health, lying, manipulating and gas lighting them is not respectable, decent or kind. It is cruel, abusive and yes, wrong. And why stay with a partner who is capable of doing such awful things? I read a lot of books after facing the soul-crushing realization that my partner was a cheater, and this was the only one to tell it like it is. If you're dealing with the terrible pain of betrayal, this book is immensely helpful. Highly recommended!

Cheating is abuse. Tracy recognizes betrayal for what it really is. If you've ever turned yourself inside trying to figure out how to save your marriage, or change you spouse's mind after you discover they're having an affair, do yourself a favor and read this book. I've read many, many books about how to cope with betrayal, but none helped me move forward and "get a life" like Tracy's did.

At a time when your whole world is literally falling to pieces, this book provides a very direct approach to understanding your situation and the steps you need to take to regain your good emotional health. So many infidelity resources seem strongly biased towards forgiveness and reconciliation, no matter how badly the victim has been treated. Tracy is one of the few lifelines out there who holds cheaters accountable for their own bad and unkind choices. Her advice in empowering and inspirational and much needed at a time when you've just been sucker punched. This book is your first step in regaining balance and learning to trust your instincts and protect your interests.

I wish Tracy Schorn's Chump Lady site or her book had existed when I discovered my x was cheating. Maybe I could have gotten out after 3 years of marriage rather than 11. He cheated the entire time. I might even have been able to avoid the marriage altogether. There were signs, though I misinterpreted and excused them. My experience agrees 100% with one of Tracy's premises: cheating is a deal breaker in a relationship except in rare and extraordinary circumstances. In my case, despite his many protestations and promises, the x continued to cheat and continued to want to be married.To those in the early stages or who have a high tolerance for broken promises (as I once did), the tone may feel too harsh. It took me a while to accept its accuracy and necessity. The longer you try to act in good faith with a known liar, the more pain and damage you will suffer. The information in this book will help open your eyes. Anyone who cheats without confessing is a practiced liar. It takes a lot of lies to cheat and cover it up. I know this is hard to accept about someone you love. It's part of what makes what should be a straightforward, though agonizing, situation so confusing.You need an ally by your side, someone who can help you understand what's happening and what options you have. Your usual advisers may not know how to deal with cheating. The rules are different. For one thing, cheaters don't follow all the rules. And they have their own rules that they don't share with you. That alone can create a crazy dynamic. Even if you're inclined to reconcile, I hope you'll take Tracy's perspective into account. It will open your eyes to some important things. I wish that had been an option for me. It would have saved me heartache, wasted years and exposure to STDs.My heart goes out to anyone whose circumstances led them to this book, but I'm glad you've found the clear-minded advice it contains. I hope you take advantage of it as part of your support system.

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